i'm happy that i've managed to achieve what i had set out to achieve at the beginning of the semester. to be more focused on my studies, especially since it's the last academic semester. and of course to up my gpa to at least a 3.
at that point and time of emotional instability, somehow i learned to prioritise what's most important to me.
you might not know it, but i do want to attribute this to you. you played a part. =)
although there were times along the way where i went off-track, i'm glad that i didn't stray too far away. such things happen, i guess. distractions. at the end of it all, i don't like the way my emotions are constantly affected and being manipulated by certain things or certain people. so perhaps nonchalance is not a bad thing afterall.
and i learned. i realised that i'll always learn something new throughout each and every semester. something non-academic. something beneficial which can help me become a better person. i don't really know how all these come to me, they just do. i suppose it's through experiences that you get to see a bigger picture of things. and i've learned to look at things from a different perspective, to understand everything that's happening to me or around me.
if one were to just sit down and observe silently, he would realise that life is actually very simple. it is us humans who make it complicated.
i like travelling. because only then will you get to experience the many different lifestyles of people around the world. and my conclusion is that we singaporeans do not have a 'healthy' lifestyle. we're too stressed up and hungry for success that we fail to see the importance of simple happiness. and being contented with what we have. and of course, travelling broadens your horizons. more specifically, your mentality horizon. because there is only so much, or rather so little you can see in tiny singapore. i'm not fascinated by alot of things other people might find so otherwise. when singapore is currently in the process of building a ferris wheel, i'll say that it's lame. probably because i've seen many more ferris wheels before. or simply because it's just lame taking an elevated ride to reach closer to the hot sun. in any way, ferris wheels are definitely more exciting elsewhere besides singapore. and i'm not sure if my way of thinking (that s'pore is really very 'small' in many aspects) is a good or a bad thing. but i just want to emphasize that the world out there is much much bigger, and in my opinion it is not wise to let yourself or your thinking be restricted like the frog in the well.
back to the topic on simple happiness, and that is why at times when i seem laid-back, i just don't want too many things to be stirring around me. all i wish for is a simple, stable and secure life.
i don't particularly hold myself in overly-high esteem, neither am i conceited or big-headed (though literally i am). but i feel that it's all about self-respect. i told close friends that i'm not gonna allow myself to be hurt so easily again. so essentially i'm learning to build the defenses around my heart.
at times when i feel weary, all i have to do is to take a break. after which i'll get back up on my feet and continue the battle. simply because i know i'm strong enough to take things in my stride and overcome all challenges.
nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent. not even you.
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